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Fw: Pet Diaries

From a Dog's Daily Diary:

> 8:00 am                   Oh Boy! Dog Food! My  Favorite!
> 9:30 am                   Oh Boy! A Car Ride! My Favorite!
> 9:40 am                   Oh Boy! A Walk! My  Favorite!
> 10:30 am                 Oh Boy! Getting rubbed and petted! My favorite!
> 11:30 am                 Oh Boy! Dog Food! My  Favorite!
> Noon                       Oh Boy! The Kids! My Favorite!
> 1:00  pm                  Oh Boy! The Yard! My Favorite!
> 4:00  pm                  Oh Boy! To the Park! My Favorite!
> 5:00  pm                  Oh Boy! Dog Food! My Favorite!
> 5:30  pm                  Oh Boy! Pretty Mums! My Favorite!
> 6:00  pm                  Oh Boy! Playing Ball! My Favorite!
> 6:30  pm                  Oh Boy! Watching TV with my Master! My Favorite!
> 8:30  pm                  Oh Boy! Sleeping in Master's Bed! My Favorite!
>
> From a Cat's Daily Diary:
> Day 483 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
> little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh food while I am
forced
> to eat dry cereal.
> The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of  escape, and the mild
> scolding I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I
> may eat another houseplant.
>
> Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while
they
> were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs. In
> an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again
> induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair; must try this on their
> bed.
>
> Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to
> make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into
> their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little
cat
> I was.  Hmmmm, not working according to plan.
>
> There was some sort of gathering of their  accomplices. I was placed in
> solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise
> and smell of food. More importantly, I over heard that my confinement was
> due to my power of "allergies". I must learn what this is and how to use
it
> to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe
> snitches.  The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to
> return. He is obviously a half-wit.
>
> The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. He speaks with
> them regularly, and I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his
> current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured.  But I can
> wait, it is only a matter of time...


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Ok.. that one is just hilarious~~
Thanks for posting it!
Denise
Knitchat.com

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